Counselling in Brighton & Hove
I’m Simon Buckland, an accredited BACP counsellor. I work with adults one-to-one (£70) or in couples (£100) in person and online.
Relationship Issues
Understanding the patterns.
Relationships can become trapped in cycles of conflict, resentment and misunderstanding. By seeing the patterns you can find healthier ways forward together.
These can be some of the most intractable problems that anyone faces in their lives – not only are you dealing with your own fears, resentments, regrets etc., but also your partner’s. And many of them may not seem to you to be all that justified or reasonable.
Communication has become a minefield: even if you start with a frank and fair sharing of your thoughts and feelings, you or your partner, or both, get triggered by something, and it all kicks off again, and you’re miles apart once more.
How can you even stay together like this?
Although you both agree that you have problems, you may not even agree on what they are, or who’s at fault. If you have children, you probably disagree quite fundamentally on aspects of their upbringing.
And on top of that, there are accumulated resentments which would make it very hard for you to trust your partner to do what’s needed to improve things, even if they agreed to.
I’ll work with you first of all to ensure that both you and your partner’s feelings are validated – not to decide who’s right and who’s wrong, but to ensure that both of you feel seen and heard.
I’ll help you to understand and change the patterns in your relationship where you get stuck and fall into conflict – to change your ‘doom loops’ into ‘appreciation loops’.
And if it’s really not right for you to stay together any more, I’ll help you to separate with mutual respect, so that you can lead satisfying separate lives in future.
I trained in humanistic and integrative counselling with the Psychosynthesis Trust, London, in Relationship Counselling with Relate, and in sexuality and intimacy work with Jan Day.
I've also done a great deal of my own personal development and self-exploration over the years.
I've been practicing as a counsellor since 2014, working with couples and individuals of all ages, from late teens to over-70s.
You'll find me patient, warm, non-judgemental, and a good listener. And wherever we go on our journey together, it's likely that I've been there myself at some point - which makes me an able and reliable guide.
The Therapy ProcessHow we work together
Together, we pause to consider your goals, hopes, and direction. This is about aligning with yourself and with the journey ahead.
This is a chance to connect with what brought you here—your questions, your hopes, your turning points—and work to build your desired future.
We can work face to face if you live near Brighton or Hove, or online if you prefer, using Zoom, Teams, or any platform of your choice.
My fee is £70 per 50-minute one-to-one session (£100 for couples).
Phone ConsultationYou get a feel for how it is to work together and we plan a way forward.
Trial SessionWe spend time identifying the key issues that you’d like to work on.
Subsequent SessionsWe push forward, building your understanding and coping strategies.
CompletionWe will know when you have become confident and self-reliant.
CommitmentI will continue to be available as long as you find it helpful.
